Situtation Normal All Fucked Up

Band Dance

Fri, 14 Jan 2005 05:02:44 GMT

So, i wanna go to this band dance tomorrow night. but i kinda dont have a ride and i live in cranbury. so if anyone wants to be a cool person and give shane cobain a lift there/home it'd be mucho appreciated. i really wanna go see weber play trumpet. she's really excited about it, and i'm happy for her. and i wanna be there for her. so if anyone can gimme a ride or knows anyone who can gimme a ride...let me know in school. ok well i'm going to bed cuz its 1 minute from tomorrow. night!

You only live once...

Thu, 13 Jan 2005 03:18:29 GMT

Started at 9:05!

You know that saying "you only live once?" well i thought of a lil more for it. "You only live once, but can die again and again." i dont know why, but i felt like sharing that with anyone who reads my journal.

next line of business, music. me and max eager might start up a REAL punk band. i asked allan to play guitar, and he said he would. that was about 20 minutes ago when i started writing this. lol. i started writing this 25 minutes ago. haha allan distracted me. we just need a drummer now, and a place to practice. i really hope this works out.

me and weber went to a nice quiet spot. no sounds of bells, hardly any sounds of cars. its such a chill spot. but there are days where its roaring with noise. just glad its not the season. so in our peaceful time we had plenty of time to make up for lost time while she's been gone. still dont know if she has mono or not...lol! i swear its not my fault. after that we walked back to the school and i met her dad. now that i know both of her parents and i guess they both like me. i know her mom does. so thats pretty cool. hopefully we get to hangout this weekend.

mrs blair wasnt here today, and mr furguson was her sub. he's a pretty cool guy. funny, interesting fellow indeed. well wanted to read us some poems. written from Taylor Mali. pronounced molly for those of u who dont know who he is. www.taylormali.com awesome poet. i love this guy...he's so funny. as soon as i get one of his books, i'll put my favorite poem on here. but till than, i'll just put my favorites from the site.

How to Write a Political Poem
By Taylor Mali
www.taylormali.com

However it begins, it's gotta be loud
and then it's gotta get a little bit louder.
Because this is how you write a political poem
and how you deliver it with power.

Mix current events with platitudes of empowerment.
Wrap up in rhyme or rhyme it up in rap until it sounds true.

Glare until it sinks in.

Because somewhere in Florida, votes are still being counted.
I said somewhere in Florida, votes are still being counted!

See, that's the Hook, and you gotta' have a Hook.
More than the look, it's the hook that is the most important part.
The hook has to hit and the hook's gotta fit.
Hook's gotta hit hard in the heart.

Because somewhere in Florida, votes are still being counted.

And Dick Cheney is peeing all over himself in spasmodic delight.
Make fun of politicians, it's easy, especially with Republicans
like Rudy Giuliani, Colin Powell, and . . . Al Gore.
Create fatuous juxtapositions of personalities and political philosophies
as if communism were the opposite of democracy,
as if we needed Darth Vader, not Ralph Nader.

Peep this: When I say "Call,"
you all say, "Response."

Call! Response! Call! Response! Call!

Amazing Grace, how sweet the‹

Stop in the middle of a song that everyone kows and loves.
This will give your poem a sense of urgency.
Because there is always a sense of urgency in a political poem.
There is no time to waste!
Corruption doesn't have a curfew,
greed doesn't care what color you are
and the New York City Police Department
is filled with people who wear guns on their hips
and carry metal badges pinned over their hearts.
Injustice isn't injustice it's just in us as we are just in ice.
That's the only alienation of this alien nation
in which you either fight for freedom
or else you are free and dumb!

And even as I say this somewhere in Florida, votes are still being counted.

And it makes me wanna beat box!

Because I have seen the disintegration of gentrification
and can speak with great articulation
about cosmic constellations, and atomic radiation.
I've seen D. W. Griffith's Birth of a Nation
but preferred 101 Dalmations.
Like a cross examination, I will give you the explanation
of why SlamNation is the ultimate manifestation
of poetic masturbation and egotistical ejaculation.

And maybe they are still counting votes somewhere in Florida,
but by the time you get to the end of the poem it won't matter anymore.

Because all you have to do is close your eyes,
lower your voice, and end by saying:

the same line three times,
the same line three times,
the same line three times.

What Teachers Make, or
You can always go to law school if things don't work out
By Taylor Mali
www.taylormali.com

He says the problem with teachers is, "What's a kid going to learn
from someone who decided his best option in life was to become a teacher?"
He reminds the other dinner guests that it's true what they say about
teachers:
Those who can, do; those who can't, teach.

I decide to bite my tongue instead of his
and resist the temptation to remind the dinner guests
that it's also true what they say about lawyers.

Because we're eating, after all, and this is polite company.

"I mean, you¹re a teacher, Taylor," he says.
"Be honest. What do you make?"

And I wish he hadn't done that
(asked me to be honest)
because, you see, I have a policy
about honesty and ass-kicking:
if you ask for it, I have to let you have it.

You want to know what I make?

I make kids work harder than they ever thought they could.
I can make a C+ feel like a Congressional medal of honor
and an A- feel like a slap in the face.
How dare you waste my time with anything less than your very best.

I make kids sit through 40 minutes of study hall
in absolute silence. No, you may not work in groups.
No, you may not ask a question.
Why won't I let you get a drink of water?
Because you're not thirsty, you're bored, that's why.

I make parents tremble in fear when I call home:
I hope I haven't called at a bad time,
I just wanted to talk to you about something Billy said today.
Billy said, "Leave the kid alone. I still cry sometimes, don't you?"
And it was the noblest act of courage I have ever seen.

I make parents see their children for who they are
and what they can be.

You want to know what I make?

I make kids wonder,
I make them question.
I make them criticize.
I make them apologize and mean it.
I make them write.
I make them read, read, read.
I make them spell definitely beautiful, definitely beautiful, definitely
beautiful
over and over and over again until they will never misspell
either one of those words again.
I make them show all their work in math.
And hide it on their final drafts in English.
I make them understand that if you got this ::point at your head::
then you follow this ::point at your heart:: and if someone ever tries to judge you
by what you make, you give them this ::give the finger::.

Let me break it down for you, so you know what I say is true:
I make a goddamn difference! What about you?

Like Lilly Like Wilson
By Taylor Mali
www.taylormali.com

I'm writing the poem that will change the world,
and it's Lilly Wilson at my office door.
Lilly Wilson, the recovering like addict,
the worst I've ever seen.
So, like, bad the whole eighth grade
started calling her Like Lilly Like Wilson Like.
ŒUntil I declared my classroom a Like-Free Zone,
and she could not speak for days.

But when she finally did, it was to say,
Mr. Mali, this is . . . so hard.
Now I have to think before I . . . say anything.

Imagine that, Lilly.

It's for your own good.
Even if you don't like . . .
it.

I'm writing the poem that will change the world,
and it's Lilly Wilson at my office door.
Lilly is writing a research paper for me
about how homosexuals shouldn't be allowed
to adopt children.
I'm writing the poem that will change the world,
and it's Like Lilly Like Wilson at my office door.

She's having trouble finding sources,
which is to say, ones that back her up.
They all argue in favor of what I thought I was against.

And it took four years of college,
three years of graduate school,
and every incidental teaching experience I have ever had
to let out only,

Well, that's a real interesting problem, Lilly.
But what do you propose to do about it?
That's what I want to know.

And the eighth-grade mind is a beautiful thing;
Like a new-born baby's face, you can often see it
change before your very eyes.

I can't believe I'm saying this, Mr. Mali,
but I think I'd like to switch sides.

And I want to tell her to do more than just believe it,
but to enjoy it!
That changing your mind is one of the best ways
of finding out whether or not you still have one.
Or even that minds are like parachutes,
that it doesn't matter what you pack
them with so long as they open
at the right time.
O God, Lilly, I want to say
you make me feel like a teacher,
and who could ask to feel more than that?
I want to say all this but manage only,
Lilly, I am like so impressed with you!

So I finally taught somebody something,
namely, how to change her mind.
And learned in the process that if I ever change the world
it's going to be one eighth grader at a time.

The the impotence of proofreading
By Taylor Mali
www.taylormali.com

Has this ever happened to you?
You work very horde on a paper for English clash
And then get a very glow raid (like a D or even a D=)
and all because you are the word¹s liverwurst spoiler.
Proofreading your peppers is a matter of the the utmost impotence.

This is a problem that affects manly, manly students.
I myself was such a bed spiller once upon a term
that my English teacher in my sophomoric year,
Mrs. Myth, said I would never get into a good colleague.
And that¹s all I wanted, just to get into a good colleague.
Not just anal community colleague,
because I wouldn¹t be happy at anal community colleague.
I needed a place that would offer me intellectual simulation,
I really need to be challenged, challenged dentally.
I know this makes me sound like a stereo,
but I really wanted to go to an ivory legal collegue.
So I needed to improvement
or gone would be my dream of going to Harvard, Jail, or Prison
(in Prison, New Jersey).

So I got myself a spell checker
and figured I was on Sleazy Street.

But there are several missed aches
that a spell chukker can¹t can¹t catch catch.
For instant, if you accidentally leave a word
your spell exchequer won¹t put it in you.
And God for billing purposes only
you should have serial problems with Tori Spelling
your spell Chekhov might replace a word
with one you had absolutely no detention of using.
Because what do you want it to douch?
It only does what you tell it to douche.
You¹re the one with your hand on the mouth going clit, clit, clit.
It just goes to show you how embargo
one careless clit of the mouth can be.

Which reminds me of this one time during my Junior Mint.
The teacher read my entire paper on A Sale of Two Titties
out loud to all of my assmates.
I¹m not joking, I¹m totally cereal.
It was the most humidifying experience of my life,
being laughed at pubically.

So do yourself a flavor and follow these two Pisces of advice:
One: There is no prostitute for careful editing.
And three: When it comes to proofreading,
the red penis your friend.

and over an hour later i'm still not done with this entry...so yea, to the next thing i was gonna say was...i forgot. oh yea...skateboarding. its going crazy. my ankle is still having its usual problems. i just gotta be careful...but not some pussy lil bitch who is gonna just not skate cuz of an old injury that should've been treated by a doctor. it wasnt just because i never told anyone in my family. my older brother didnt find out till a month later when the swelling finally went down, he power bombed me and my foot smacked on the bed and i felt my ankle bend again. it hurt so much. i showed him and he said, "DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN! That shit is fucked up." i'm pretty sure i fractured it. but i jsut let it heal by itself. some icepacks on it while i was sleeping or just sitting around. it worked just fine. but i guess i kinda regret it now.

well i guess thats it. if i think of anything else to say, i'll just make a new entry.
finished at 10:18!

a new day of a new beginning

Sat, 08 Jan 2005 04:41:35 GMT

so right now i'm as giddy as a school boy...shit...fuck...wait...DOUGH! I am a school boy. that sucks. oh well whatever. everything is super, awesome, perfect, beautiful, amazing, and there arent even words that can describe this so i'm just gonna stop. ahhh! sensation...pure sensation. its relaxing to know that someone really does love me, and i love her too. its comfortable to be held again, and feel that love that is relaxing, in every hug...in every kiss...in every word spoken...in ever finger held in ur hand. i love you, i really do. and nothing can go wrong, cuz we dont cheat, we've never really gotten into an REAL arguement, and it seems to me like we are disgustingly cute together. lol. i dont know, maybe its just me, but thats what olivia makes it seem like. and max and gordon saw us together. it was kinda great to have someone interupt a kiss sometimes. it makes u really truely appreciate that kiss because it wasnt finished. i love you. this is only the first day, but it seems like years. i never thought that we would ever kiss. it passed through my mind, but i never thought it would really happen. dammit i love you so much. i cant help it. i have to say it again and again. i wanna scream it. i wanna show it thru every ounce of blood flowing through my veins. ok i gotta stop now. i love you. i hope i get to see you this weekend. bye.

i cannot forget the day you spun a web of reason into my heart, hit me in the head with a voice of passion, and bit my neck with a bite of love. 1/6/05 @ Route 206 & Whitherspoon, approximately 4:30 P.M.

Remember our first kiss, it was raining and we made the rain stop.

New Music, New Love, New Start, Old Me!

Thu, 06 Jan 2005 02:47:49 GMT

New Music

Have you never
come across
the vastness of pavement,
the banish of winds and
the grayness of the sea?
Never lost
or never been misguided,
we'd have never seen so shining.
I've come from out
of a handsome in Camden,
to a bum in the basement
while all the while it rained.
I'll come around
to the friendliest of faces,
handsome as stand ugly places.
Come from out
of the tunnels we've diggen,
and say the tunnley's not livin
and working does the work.
Come and find
the love in his labor.
Labor's life our lives forever.
Come and see
the keepings not given.
You've got what you've given,
you get what you deserve.
In the midst
of all of the action
maybe only their thoughts are on his fraction.
Chasing sea foam dreams around another dirty old town.
Parallel runs streams crawl through gray ocean from the green ground.
"Oed und leer das meer" beneath the leafy glassy surface.
All the songs you hear down there they have a purpose.
All in all,
we cannot stop singing.
We cannot start singing.
We'll swivle to the end.
They may kill
and we may be pardoned.
We will never be broken-hearted.

Ted Leo & The Pharmicists-Biomusicology

Light
And day
Is more than you'll say
Cause all
My feelings
Are more
Than I can let by
Or not
More than you've got
Just follow the day
Follow and reach for the SUN!
You don't see me fly into the red one more your're nuts
Just follow the seasons, and find the time
Reach for the bright side
You don't see me fly into the red one more you're done
Just follow the day
Follow and reach for the SUN!
Just follow the day
Follow and reach for the SUN!
You don't see me fly into the red - one more you're nuts
Just follow the seasons, and find the time
Reach for the bright side
You don't see me fly into the red - one more you're nuts
Just follow the day
Follow and reach for the SUN!
Just follow the day
Follow and reach for the SUN!
Just follow the day
Follow and reach for the SUN!

The Polyphonic Spree-Light & Day

NEW Love

I have a new love and yes! I know what you're all thinking. This kid goes thru girls fast. Well, i'm sorry, I dont mean to. I just find a better girl who I'd rather be with. This girl was right infront of me the whole time. She was my friend, and I guess I never totally thought of her as more than that, but she is awesome, she is great, she is EVERYTHING I really need. I'm sure of it, that she feels the same way. I think I really am totally in love with this girl. I'd have to keep her name a secret for now. Soon I shall try to engauge this relationship of boyfriend/girlfriend status, too which it is known as now a days.

New Start

So, I have started my skateboarding again. I have decided to finish what I started and learn all these tricks I've been trying to learn for oooooooh so long now. I will conquer my goals and exceed my limits. I will have to push my limits, and I shall have to break them, as well. I'm not just letting this go to my head, but my Chin is back. No one knows what "The Chin" is, so allow me to explain with in breif detail.

"The Chin" is what gives you the energy to skate. It's like the soul of skating. It was first publicised in the skate video Animal Chin, staring Tony Hawk, Steve Caballero, and Daewon Song. These three skaters and a couple more went and discovered their Chin. It was in Japan where they first learned about the Chin and they learned fast. Not only is it the soul of skating, but it is you reason for skating as well.

My Chin is as follows: My friends, my pain, my success, my freedom, my soul, my love, my hate, my very physical being, and my past time.

Old Me!

I'm still me, just a side you have never seen. I side in which you may not be able to handle. A form of me which is a bit less mangled. I form of me which cares more about what I want to care about, and pities everything else. I still doubt, you will hate my "new" self.

irony - crazy day - I NEED EVERYONE TO HELP ME OUT HERE!!!

Thu, 09 Dec 2004 00:00:15 GMT


mall is love
brought to you by the isLove Generator

rather ironic do to the fact that i used to be a mall rat. lol

why is this so hard? why is it so painful to just think that she might not like me and she might stop being my friend if i ask her out? this gets harder and harder every day. weber was right about that. the longer i wait, the harder it'll get. i knew it...but i'm a stubborn polack, what can ya do?

shitz was nutz today. my whole body is in pain. i'm worried about losing a friend if i ask her out. i dont know if she likes me or not. i don't know whether or not i can actually just deal with losing a friend and knowing its 100% my fault. and her friend is scary...god damn he's so big! i keep thinkin he's gonna sit on me or something. oh well, i'll do it soon hopefully. so yea, in english class mr. bathke said we have to write an essay for the 14th. thats more time than the first one i did. the craziest thing is that he said we have to perform one of Othello's 12 soliloquys. its gonna be nutz but i know i can do it. 5th period today in my other english, hspa english, i told mrs. dunham about my Oedipus essay. Mr. Bathke asked me if he could use it as a model essay because it was "very well written" and i guess i hve mrs. dunham to thank for that. she proofread it about 20 times, lol. but everything was all from my mind. some guy like backed up into mark's car and kinda took off the mirror and like scratched up the side real bad. that really sucks, its fuckin crazy man i'm tellin you. i'm really good at volleyball and go figure, our school doesnt have a god damn volleyball team. ARGH! oh well...

ok i need everyone to participate in this...i need everyone to be dead serious and tell me EXACTLY what you think about me. like every single detail. looks, personality, etc. i wont hold any offense to anyone, as long as they are honest with me. give a link to my journal to everyone you know. just tell them to answer this question, and i dont care if they ever talk to me again or not. i just want to know what people think about me, so please...tell me, what do you think about me? thanks!

p.s. please comment!

What I Learned At The "AIDs In Africa" Speech

Wed, 08 Dec 2004 05:03:01 GMT

After Me and Weber got yelled at for talking, by Ma, we ended up just writing it out on paper to each other like we do in classes we have together. We were talking about love in today's society and this day and age. It was started because I mentioned to her that you can't have sex if you have AIDs. She said that you can if you're with someone that you're going to spend the rest of your life with. Then, I got mad because that doesn't seem to happen these days. Here is what was on paper:

SHANE-Now a days, no one cares about love only sex and looks. personality means nothing anymore. Everyone is scared of reality. We've been brought up to fear it. So we use drugs and sex to get away from it. Now, if someone had AIDs you ARE a disease. No one wants to be near someone with it. It's ridiculous.

WEBER-True, but most people do care about love. Love is what everyone wants, save for a few exceptions. It's not just about sex, people pass it off as just sex because it's supposedly cool.

SHANE-People don't want real love, they want movie scene love. That one person is right, at the right time. The movies taint the minds and tells us what love is and that we'll meet hat person and go thick thru thin for her. AND SEX!!! It's stupid. Movie scene love brings only heartache. Some people are even to scared for movie scene love.

WEBER-Whatever, I like movies. I like being naive. Sure, no one has ever made me feel like the movies. Say they should, but I keep hoping and it's not movies. It's the whole 21st Century. Romance means nothing anymore. It's dead and all we have left is a sick parody of it. Just go to pretend its still there. I know I do.

SHANE-Love is empty without romance...It makes love mean nothing. You can't love without romance. It's like the brain of love. The heart is passion...not much left of that either.

WEBER-That's why I like literature. Amazing how words can make love painful and hate beautiful. I could go on a long rant about that. Its my surrogate world. Closer to real life than I've been. I'm not giving up on romance just yet. Nothing left after that.

**BELL RINGS**

I still believe in love. I don't think I'm in love right now, but I definitely have insanely strong feelings for another girl. This girl...she's so awesome. I hung out with her today. I think she likes me but I can't tell. And I wanna get to know her before I ask her out. NO EVERYONE!!!! IT IS NOT WEBER!

There's this girl...	...so perfect!
I really like...	...and shes amazing!
Shes just...	...this girl!

...Dedicated to the Butterfly

Thu, 21 Oct 2004 17:57:38 GMT

wow, its been a while. i'm so tired. i'm sittin in class right now. nothin to do here. but lately "here" seems so much bigger than it ever has before. i think being 18 has a major part in it all. being 18 isn't all cracked up as you think it is. too much responsibility. now most of the time i think of whats going on in my life and what is actually going on around me as well. i ask myself the same questions every day when i wake up in the morning, and everynight that i go to bed. why am i here?...why am i alive?...what is my point of living?...what am i doing here?...why am i still here?...why am i askin myself these questions? i finally realized that being younger and having no one like me was so much easier than having friends. being hated by all doesnt take any effort to maintain. if u just dont give a fuck than you dont have to worry about what anyone thinks. having friends means you have to care and give 2 shits about the rest of the world. its not so bad i guess. there are some amazingly great and spectacular sides. 1 in particular. she knows who she is. and i'm sure all of you can guess. you're not idiots...well not most of you. heh...yea i'm just grumpy today. i'm just like blah. there is just so much going thru my mind. i don't know if i should just blow it all off and not give a fuck or just explode on it and bring it down with me. i dont know maybe i just care too much, or maybe i'm just fuckin stupid. but i dont think i can give a fuck anymore. i might as well blow it off. i tried to think of a way to bring it down, but it just doesn't seem to work. yea, well so far this school year really blows. i'm not in vo tech cuz this state sucks cock. so i dont go sometimes. i usually go to Mils's house or i miss the bus and chill at home. so many great times i've had with her. nothin better than sleepin in her bed with her. its the greatest thing ever. i love her so much. if i'm not in school, and i'm not at home...i'm usually chillin at byberry with arlynne/jon/sarah/tara/chad. we usually see people up there. they are fun to hangout with. buk, duk, goddog, chezzit, etc. w/e...people keep secrets from me too much. and these secrets are gonna bring down the relationship. just be a lil more open, stop lying to me, and quit jerkin me around. quit treating me like some lil fuckin kid. w/e its not fuckin important and no one ever fuckin cares. fuck it all fuck this shit fuck everything everyone stands for. i don't give a fuck anymore.

P.S. TIFFANY GOT A STRAIGHT!!!

----------------------------------------------------
here was an in class warm-up assignment we had in english today...write as many concrete images that come to mind when thinkin about one of the following words, Love, Death, or War.

Love
heartbreak
marriage
trust
fake
abuse
tears
happiness
depression
sex
cheating
long-lasting
obsession
lust
personalities
privacy
secrecy

once again...school

Mon, 27 Sep 2004 18:50:05 GMT

not skipping this time. chillin during my free period in the library. mad bored. school almost over though so thats cool. but yea...things are going awesome. i have a few more war scars from you know who. i gotta love em though. love you!!!! anyway, its been 3 weeks and 3 days and it seems like a lifetime. every moment seems like a thousand years, but everytime i leave it seems like it wasnt even long enough. i love it though. the feeling...is amazing...

anyway, on another note, cuz i know everyone is sick of me talkin about you know who...i'm in a new band. KUNG FOO JOHNNIES!!!!!!! SKA IS THE SHIZZNAT!

Also, met some new people since the last time i posted.

Byberry
Radical Ed
Duck
Buck
Beef
Buba
Luke
and many more...

HAHA

Sat, 18 Sep 2004 15:21:19 GMT

Peace Blows...

It's time for war.

Teletubbies, Enya, Sarah McLachlan and Alanis Morisette. Harbingers to the downfall of western civilization. When characters named "Tinky Winky, Laa Laa, Dipsy," and "Po" are allowed to exist, you know it's time for war. What the hell is wrong with people these days? It's getting to the point where I can't even go outside safely without weilding a
shotgun to ward off all the bullshit.

I'm telling you, we need to get rid of a few people or a million. Another war would be perfect. War builds character. Hell, it doesn't even have to be a war. I'd be content with genocide. I say we line up all the corporate executives, mimes, celebrities, and all those other fat bastards that walk around like their shit doesn't stink, and then systematically flog the hell out of them.

To the untrained eye, I may appear to be a poor candidate for a humanitarian. But am I really? All I want is for people to pull their heads out of their ass. Is that too much to ask for?

Pulling your head out of your ass is easy! Simply use this three step plan:
First, go outside and peel off that "Mean People Suck" sticker off of your shitty new car, gather all of your precious brand name clothing along with all that hip music you bought because you were a fool, and burn them entirely. Next, realize that you were a moron for buying all that crap in the first place, and finally, never buy into any more of that bullshit ever again. That's all you need to do to upgrade your status from dipshit to jackass in my book (next step is shit face, don't stop now!).

people agree, war is great!

maddox@xmission.com

Back to how much I rule...

School...

Mon, 13 Sep 2004 14:05:55 GMT

I'm sitting in the library at school, it's 3rd period. I'm bored, I hate this school. The only thing to do, that I am doing and that I'm in enjoying, is talking to my friend Aly. But yea...i'm skipping Allgebra II Elements...WOOT WOOT!!!! I lost msy book on the first school. It's hard to type because my hand is wrapped with an ACE bandage. Anyway, I'm tired and really frusturated. I don't know what to do, and I need to talk to someone. Maybe, I'll get that chance today.

Scariness

Sun, 12 Sep 2004 12:23:38 GMT

Libra & Taurus

When Taurus and Libra come together in a love affair, it can be the unification of two halves of a whole. These two Signs are thought of as being karmically linked. They're both looking for security in a relationship and they share a love of art, poetry and culture. This relationship may start slowly as, on the surface, they might have few common interests. However, once they understand one another they may learn they have much more in common than was first apparent.

Taurus and Libra both have a love for the arts. They appreciate fine dining and theater, collecting art and music. Pleasure -- physical, aesthetic -- is a premium for these two Signs. They both love to woo and be wooed; courtship is a necessary part of any romantic relationship for them, and since they both have this need, they fit well together. Taurus appreciates Libra's charm; if stubborn Taurus doesn't get their way, diplomatic Libra is able to smooth things over and keep the peace. Libra appreciates the luxuries that sensual Taurus provides them. They also have much to teach one another: Libra can help Taurus see the different sides of a situation, and Taurus can help Libra overcome their notorious indecision.

Both Taurus and Libra are ruled by the Planet Venus (Love and Money). These partners share a love of beauty, luxury, love and romance. Libra in particular is keen on balance; both partners have charming personalities and desire harmony in their personal relationships. Venus's influence can create problems as well, however; these two Signs can both tend toward laziness and snobbery, Taurus based on possessions and Libra based on intellect.

Taurus is an Earth Sign and Libra is an Air Sign. Taurus gets through life relying on their innate practicality, while Libra relies on intellectual exploration. Taurus asks, ""How will this help me achieve my goals in life?"" Libra, on the other hand, focuses on intellectual stimuli, whether it's practical or not. Conflicts can arise in this relationship if Taurus seems too possessive or Libra seems too flirtatious and social. Sometimes they just don't quite understand where the other is coming from. If they want theirs to be a long-lasting relationship, they must learn to accept that their views of the world are different in tone and focus.

Taurus is a Fixed Sign and Libra is a Cardinal Sign. In general in this relationship, Libra initiates it and Taurus keeps it going. A Fixed Sign won't budge, and Libra needs to understand the Bull's stubborn tendency. With some gentle persuasion, anything is possible -- and there is no Sign more gifted at gentle, subtle persuasion and charm than Libra. On the other hand, Libra's indecision may irritate direct, to-the-point Taurus. As long as Taurus tones down the tendency to declare that their way is the only acceptable way to do or see something, Libra can accept Taurus's decisions.

What's the best aspect of the Taurus-Libra relationship? Their shared love of pleasure, beauty and culture. Aesthetics are integral to both partners, and their similar tastes and loves make theirs a relationship of great romance and harmony.

stuff...

Sun, 12 Sep 2004 06:31:54 GMT

Today was there was a show at whitehorse firehouse and it was fuckin awesome. I bought the [Here] Tomorrow CD...KICKS ASS! The show was amazing. One more [Here] Tomorrow show left.

Mercer County College Student Center - 1200 Old Trenton Road - West Windsor, NJ 08550
Friday, Sept 24th 5:30pm

[Here] Tomorrow
Riotones
Break Away
The Checkers
Found On The Floor

$3 w/canned good, $5 w/o...
all ages...

I've been writing some new songs, looking for a band, and I think I can really get this shit done. I just need to find the right people. I think I know of a couple people. One doesn't seem to be too motivated anymore. It seems to be kind of an off and on thing. But tonight, I saw someone I haven't seen since Middle School. Paul...man it was crazy. Me and Arlynne were just talkin about him the other day. I don't think this is a coincidence. I got his number, so one day soon I'm definitely gonna call him up and we will jam. Hopefully, him and/or Luther will be what I'm lookin for. I know Luther can do it, but he has to apply himself, which I'm so sure he WON'T do. But who knows...no harm in trying.

Arlynne is God...-

yay

Fri, 03 Sep 2004 11:43:12 GMT

The NJ Jersey Crew
ArLyNnE---------Slim
SARAH----------- Mini
Shane-----------Animal
Jon-------------Hoser

BYBERRY HAS BEEN TAINTED!!!

The sickness...It kills...it lives...Brings death...it dies...Its cured...it dies. I wish I could cure the sickness. Make all your pain go away. Free you from everything that may be holding you back. Kill anyone who stands in your way...but you already killed it!
------------------

I am a GOD!!!! First round, 3-0...hour later round 2 starts and final score is greater than 5-0. Next time, I'll win...I'm sure of it. Stupid mondoc! It was still amazing, I don't care. Glad I lost, gonna try to lose by even more next time.

9/3-ArLyNnE <3 Forever and always! Love you babe.

DRAMA

Fri, 27 Aug 2004 19:37:34 GMT

DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA...lol, this shit is turnin into TNT on my fuckin Live Journal. Anyway, anyone who wants to step might wanna think about backin the fuck up cuz your in for a beat down. CHECK NUTS PUSSY.

get away

Fri, 27 Aug 2004 00:06:35 GMT

Get away from me. I'm over you and I've moved on. Stop saying how great I am. Maybe you should've thought about that before you done what you did. Get outta my head. Your demons still haunt me and its hard to sleep at night. I've moved on to the greatest thing I've ever had. I shouldn't have ever touched you, I shouldn't have ever stopped wanting her. I hate you so much, I wish you would have never existed. I wish you could just drop off the face of the Earth, or maybe just drop outta of existance. You are nothing to me...you are dirt. You a piece of shit and I fuckin hate you.

I've moved on...I love you. Everything about you is unexplainable. The looks we give each other, the kisses we give to one another. We are "two of a kind" and I want you to be mine. Now, and forever, I will always be yours. I don't want anything more or less, just you. You and I were meant to be, its so obvious to see. To the naked eye you see us, but put on your peepers and you will find true love when we are together. Forever and always, I love you Mils.

words that hurt...

Mon, 23 Aug 2004 14:48:23 GMT

"You deserve better than this." Last night I was told these words, and the sound of these words shook me. Chills through every limb of my body. The first chill came from my heart, where it felt like I was stabbed. I don't know how to deal with that. I almost cried right there. I had tears filling up my eyes. I told her that, and she told me to make them happy tears.

There are, give or take, 6.5 billion people on this planet. I believe everyone is has ONE special person who they were meant to be with. If you ACTUALLY found that one person, what would you do? Do everything in your power to make them happy. How would you know that this person is the RIGHT "one"? You never know for sure, but thats how love is, you never know if you really are in love until you find something that you have more feelings for. Some might ask, "well it shows she cares." Well that is true. But it brings back the memories. The memories of when the girls would play their games. They would tell me how great and too good I was. When I said how I felt about them..."OH! YOU'RE TOO GOOD FOR ME." I can't stand hearing that. It's like a slap in the face. And the only physical slap in the face I can take, is from her. I love it. The physical pain she puts upon me is like an adrenaline rush with a side of raging hormones. Its so orgasmic, I love it. She knows what she does to me, but doesn't ever realize what she does to me inside. She never knows how much the smallest words, can destroy my insides. I don't know how to tell her either. What can I do?

What would you do for everything you've ever wanted?
...And what would you do if you lost it before you ever had it?
...Or what would you do if she wasn't "good enough" for you?

I'm ready to die for everything I've ever wanted.
...I would die if I lost it, because it is my heart, soul, breath,...my everytihng.
...I would make myself worse, so that way she would realize that we are equal.
...Would it work? Who knows? I don't think I'll ever find out.

Fifth Layer of Hell

Fri, 20 Aug 2004 03:16:11 GMT

the Fifth Level of Hell!</b>
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	Moderate
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Extreme
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	High
Level 7 (Violent)	Very High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Moderate

Take the Dante's Inferno Test

The river Styx runs through this level of Hell, and in it are punished the wrathful and the gloomy. The former are forever lashing out at each other in anger, furious and naked, tearing each other piecemeal with their teeth. The latter are gurgling in the black mud, slothful and sullen, withdrawn from the world. Their lamentations bubble to the surface as they try to repeat a doleful hymn, though with unbroken words they cannot say it. Because you lived a cruel, vindictive and hateful life, you meet your fate in the Styx.

4 Walls and 8 Mirrors

Mon, 16 Aug 2004 19:09:59 GMT

CHORUS
Are you OK?
You're firing blank concerns,
in the face of the same,
caliber!
The world is as fake as the
ones thats asking...

When you killed the one in control here,
What do you think you'd say?
Please god, (PLEASE GOD) no I'm not ready yet.
Or thank god, (THANK GOD) I'm finally free.
The communication lines you cut,
to keep frayed from everyday.
Have embedded themselves in your veins,
TILL YOU BLEED OUT SPARK AND FLAME.

You’ve become less of a person.
More of a means of operation.
As it calls out to you,
to employ your views for its own.

It's hard to look at yourself,
when you’ve been raped by the world.
All the time its committing these crimes,
concerning eyes are,
oh so wide while asking…

CHORUS

You've become your own fear.
Strip yourself of everything.
Naked left to see clear,
and I don’t wanna be here.
Left alone inside this world with four walls and eight mirrors.
In this world with four walls and eight mirrors.

Its found ways to put commericals in your dreams.
While it schemes for the souls essence to procure.
Theres no escape in sleep anymore.(anymore)
Theres no escape in sleep anymore.(anymore anymore)
Theres no escape in sleep...ANYMORE.

You've become your own fear.
Strip yourself of everything.
Naked left to see clear,
and I don’t wanna be here.
Left alone inside this world with four walls and eight mirrors.
You've become your own fear.
Strip yourself of everything.
Naked left to see clear,
and I don’t wanna be here.
Left alone inside this world with four walls and eight MIRRORS.

this is for the shitheads

Mon, 16 Aug 2004 17:41:52 GMT

FUCK YOU FUCKING PUSSY ASS MOTHER FUCKIN SHIT FACE COCK SUCKING DICK EATING ASSHOLE MOTHER FUCKERS. This is for the fuckin pussy ass mother fuckers who wont come out and say who you are. If you're gonna post on the journal atleast say who the fuck you are. I'm now deleting all fuckin comments that don't have a signature on them. Fucking dosche bags. You guys seriously need something better to do with your time. Assholes!

A touch...

Mon, 16 Aug 2004 05:23:50 GMT

A touch so divine,
from a girl who is too fine,
and she is just too kind.
Maybe one day she will be mine.
Please God, give me a sign.
Am I first in her line?
Will there be candlelight when we dine?
Will the moon's beauty shine...
tonight, we can hold hands when I sleep.
Because, only in my dreams when I count sheep.
And when I wake in the AM I weep.
Because I awoke from my sleep.
I would sleep all day if I knew,
that every dream was of you.
If my dreams could ever come true.
I don't even know what I would do.
I'd dream of us living with kids and a pup.
Still, the worst part of waking up,
is waking up without you.

BLAH!!! I FUCKING SUCK AT WRITING...but whatever. I don't care how well its written right now. It was spur of the moment and fuckin sounds good in my head. LOL! But so does alot of things. I just hope I don't fuck up like usual. I wanna do this right. I wanna make her happy.

The past 2 days...

Sun, 15 Aug 2004 15:10:56 GMT

The past 2 days were absolutey odd. Friday was amazing. I love the shows. The Checkers didn't show up, which made me happy, and Skullitor played instead. They were so anti-Nazi, it was amazing. I love Skullitor. I keep mixing up the band Last Good Feeling with another band that had a chick in it. I don't remember who it was, but it was an awesome band. Last Good Feeling was pretty good. But mostly, Blind Deceptions KICKED ASS. No one liked Connnor's voice, but I thought it was really good. And last but not least, The Betty Fords were so cool. They sound like Nirvana which is pretty sweet. OMG I forgot Down And Out...FAT VINCE RULES!!!! But yea, supposedly we aren't aloud to mosh there...but never before have I heard that. So I mosh at Whitehorse now and forever.

Sunday's show was kinda lame. I missed The Riotones, but I know they were good. Fists Full of Funk, started off with Burnout by Green Day. Then, they had their own lil punk song which was pretty good. It was all downhill from that point. Me and Tubs O'Fun left to take my bass back to my aunts. We got back and found Liam and Shiela there, and FFoF were packin up, and The Checkers were setting up. I was like OH BOY THEY ARE GAY!!!! But whatever, I still listened to em. Jesus (Drummer from FFoF) was into every song from every band and didn't really stop dancing around in his White Robe. JESUS SMOKES!!!! Anyway, yea after The Checkers was [Here] Tomorrow and they fuckin rock, rocked, and will until they break up. After [Here] Tomorrow, was Dr. Thunder...they were pretty good. The next band was Luzer...and Jon, Arlynne, and Sarah decided to show up. Arlynne wanted to have a lil talk with Charlotte and Will. OH BOY! Not much happened their. Anyway, yea my body hurts. Peace...

Here Tommorrow's last show EVER!!!

Mercer County College Student Center - 1200 Old Trenton Road - West Windsor, NJ 08550
Friday, Sept 24th 5:30pm

Riotones
Break Away
The Checkers
Found On The Floor

$3 w/canned good, $5 w/o... all ages... for directions... click here... this is it guys... come out and make it something to remember!!

bullshit

Fri, 13 Aug 2004 18:20:40 GMT

OK, everyone needs to just chill the fuck out...
Today is a good day.
Today is a day where people die and/or get fucked up.
Today is the show.
Today is MY day.
Not much can bring me down today. I'm in a good mood and I'm getting fuckin pumped up. I just found out today that Stick Figure Suicide has gotten their drummer, so soon some shows will be played and I will be there getting fucked up in a pit.

A quote from your's truely:
"No need for sadness and no need for suicide.
Just find someone to love, and someone to confide."

Whitehorse Firehouse
$7 at the door. Doors open at 5:00 p.m

Blind Deceptions, Polymer (PA), Last Good Feeling, Down And Out, The Betty Fords, and The Checkers

Anyway...I dont get you fuckin people. Why do you use nicknames in your journals/diaries? Is it really that big of a deal that people try to use your own journal against you? Yes, it is actually, but I just try not to let it get to me. It does bother me sometimes and I will knock some heads ONE DAY, but not today. I have other heads to knock today.

P.S.
Dedication to the crew-

Jon-Don't do anythin stupid, no matter how stupid you are, deep down we all know you're not a bad guy. You'll be happy one day. You just have to be happy with yourself. And if you're not than it just shows how stupid you are because you should be happy with yourself because you are you. Hurting yourself only causes other people pain. Tomorrow is a new day, always remember that because a new day brings better things. This kinda goes out to you Jon, and the rest of the world also. It's kinda somethin everyone should live by.

Arlynne-Don't be sad for other people, or yourself...remember what you said, "This is my curse and this is my blessing." I'm not using your diary or words against, only to try to help you. Also, don't be sad for other people because, you've got yourself to worry about. I know you care about all these other people and are worried, but let them be. They'll work things out on their own. Get well ASAP! Mucho love!

Sarah-Be cool, always be cool. Don't matter! You don't need to try, you just are. DJ seems like a real dosche bag. I don't know what you see in him, but I also don't know him at all. I know that you'll be happy one day. Just remember, I'll always be cooler because I'm the virgin whore. Thanks for being their. I know we barely know each other, but you've been a great friend to me.

Dedication to the rest-

Liam-You're leaving me asshole...thanks! Just kidding, but seriously..."Get off my kool-aid mother fucker!" HAHA...no seriously, you owe me a fuckin t-shirt, and $8.50 and 2 1/2 hours of my life back. "If you fuck me, I punch you in the stomach" or SICCORS!!!!! Gonna miss ya, hope you have fun in Wyoming next year. Peace out bitch!

CREDITS GO TO:

Blind Deceptions for info on the show.
Blind Deceptions

Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back for the "Get off my kool-aid mother fucker" quote.
View Askew

Dirty Works for the "If you fuck me, I punch you in the stomach" quote.
Dirty Works

Stick Figure Suicide for pumping me up with Judge Dred, Joe College, Open Wounds, Anything, Anything (Dramarama cover), and Sleeping Pills.
Stick Figure Suicide

Angel of Death

Mon, 09 Aug 2004 15:51:17 GMT

High heels, blonde hair,
Blue eyes, and an evil snare.
Piercings, horns, and a halo.
She flies into my window,
with wicked red wings and a pointed tail,
and devil’s eyes and nine inch nails.
Diamond-crested cross around her neck.
One touch makes me a twisted wreck.
Sexy body crying tears of pearls.
So amazing unlike these other girls.

For the first time in my life,
I realized I fell in love with an Angel of Death.
She sucked my life up,
and she tore my heart out of my fuckin chest.
She replaced it with her own,
and gave me something to look forward to.
She holds my heart and says,
"I love you!"

VERSE 2
Filling her chalice with my blood and tears.
As they hinder all of her biggest fears.
Every time she inhales and blows smoke in my face,
and she digs her nails in me so I choke and she leaves without a trace
Next night she leaves me to bleed to death.
Wake up the next morning with bite marks on my neck.
I try to hate her forever and just to make sure,
she'll say one word and I'll fall back in love with her.

For the first time in my life,
I realized I fell in love with an Angel of Death.
She sucked my life up,
and she tore my heart out of my fuckin chest.
She replaced it with her own,
and gave me something to look forward to.
She holds my heart and says,
"I love you!"

A touch-that turns a dead rose from black to red.
Relying-on you to let me live or stay dead.
Living-every moment thinking of you.
Yearning-all I want to do is be true
Now you-watch me fall
Now I'll-be searching for you for all,
Eternity!

For the first time in my life,
I realized I fell in love with an Angel of Death.
She sucked my life up,
and she tore my heart out of my fuckin chest.
She replaced it with her own,
and gave me something to look forward to.
She holds my heart and says,
"I love you!"

And as she walks into her front door.
She'll see a trail of hibiscus pedals on the floor.
With them leading her to the unknown,
she follows them to my home.
Make to the window where she once flew,
straight up to the sea of blue.
She sees the pearly gates and walks through.
Only to find me sceaming, "I love you!"

There I stand with a golden heart.
I place it in your hands and says this is your's.
"I really don't need it anymore."
Kiss you on the lips and turn around.
You look at my back and see my wings spread.
Created from all the tears that you've shed.
You spread your wings and fly away with me.
To the vanilla skies and the rest of eternity.

What's red? Blood, Roses, and alot more!

Sat, 07 Aug 2004 13:34:43 GMT

I feel it welling up inside and Robert Smith lied
Boys do cry and with blood tears in my eyes
I'm an Anne Rice novel come to life
I can't hide the monster anymore
One can only feel desolate for so long
Until one starts to change
Into something the mirror doesn't recognize
I metamorphasize
The darkness has been biding its time
To claim its latest victim
Fresh meat for carnal desires
To become what I became
I viewed the sun for the last time

Will you still hold me when you see what I have done?
Will you still kiss me the same when you taste my victim's blood?
So crimson and red, I feel it flowing from your lips

My heart is dead and so are you
And it pulses through, the desire to change
The desire to deconstruct all of my past failings
But where to begin because when you live in sin
It's hard to look at saints without them
Reflecting their jet black auras back on you
And all I have is hope, my inner burn's not fading
I'll wipe the blood from my cheek and get on with my day
And all I have is hope, and all I need is time
To bury in pine under six feet of time
The lies I told me about myself
Claw my way out, pick the splinters from under my fingernails
I won't lose hope, I won't give in
Just live and breathe and try not to die again

who will remember?

Sat, 07 Aug 2004 04:42:39 GMT

These days are closing in
The end has become apparent
We're only here for so long
Will anyone remember my name
When time has washed away the dust of our ashes?
When my head rests in a velvet lined casket?
What's out there?
What is my eternal fate?
It only just recently hit me
That this life is just a state
Mortality fading, like the innocence of line
I'm scared to death of what's to become

Of my immortal soul of this eternal flame
Will you remember?
Will your heart sing with pain?
Who calls out my name?
Who can tell me what happens
When my eyes close for the last time?
Does it all simply end in a blanket of darkness
What of my soul, what of my soul?

All those things you couldn't say
You should've said
All those I-love-you's lost
Weighed more like lead on your chest

What if I could take back all those misspent days?
Every second of anger, I would wash my sins away